Yes, I make a big deal out of my birthday. I enjoy it immensely. It tends to spread over at least a weekend, or a couple of days. It’s not because I particularly crave the attention, though maybe that’s a part of it. It’s because I’m celebrating the fact that I’m still alive, which is a fact I happen to be quite fond of. Not that I was expecting to be dead, but that’s entirely beside the point. Life should be celebrated. I dearly love being alive, and I have no problems showing it.
I don’t understand people who ignore their birthdays,. So what if you’re older? Pretending a year hasn’t gone by won’t make you any younger. It’s not an admission that time is passing you by kids, it’s a joyful victory over a tough world that you continue to exist in. Living for another year should be an achievement, not an embarrassment. I look back over the last year, and I’m amazed by what I’ve done, and how far I’ve come. Maybe that’s obnoxious, maybe not. I couldn’t care less either way.
Since my last birthday, I’ve moved home twice, moved jobs twice, been through the worst emotional ordeal of my life, left my country, my family, and my friends behind, and still survived, still managed. Still been who I want to be, been that person more so than ever in fact. Independence which once would have impressed me I now assume without thinking. I’ve realised what I want, and what’s important to me, with a clarity that I have never really had before. I am happier than I’ve ever been and I know it even at the times when I’m temporarily miserable.
I completely disagree with the theory that people throw parties to get presents. I don’t want presents. Sure if you want to give me something I’ll be as pleased and surprised as I would be at any other time. But if you ask me what I want I haven’t a notion, and it would never occur to me to expect something. The gift is the fact that I’m still here, and I’m still me, and that my life is still changing, still fun, and still an experience worth having. Maybe if a year passes in which I haven’t done anything I valued or enjoyed then I won’t like marking the passage of time, but I don’t plan on ever allowing that to happen.
Thanks to everyone who wished me a Happy Birthday today, in whatever form it took, irc, card, text, phone call, some were even in person. Yes, I see human beings every day. Thanks to all of you, and I’m glad you’re still alive too :) Most of you anyway.