On saturday night , I went to a club called Frog, near Tottenham Court Road. The following conversation occurred between the french girl and some guy while we were all in the queue for the cloakroom…

Guy: Hey, would you like a lollipop? (Holds out chupa chup)

A: What flavour is that?

Guy: Eh, I don’t know

A: Well I cannot take a lollipop from a strange man if I don’t even know what flavour it is. My mother told me not to

Guy: Oh, ok. Would you like a cucumber then? (Reaches into jacket, pulls out cucumber)

A: What the fuck?

At this point I almost fell over laughing. It transpired that the guy was swedish, and the cucumber’s name was Dennis. These facts are thought to be unrelated. I love conversations that appear to distort reality through sheer bizarreness.