Subjective and random are not synonymous
Beauty is subjective. But it is not random. It is not a mystery, and it is not diminished by explanation. Incidentally, this is my opinion, and I speak about it as fact because this is my fucking weblog, and therefore it can be taken as a given that I shouldn’t have to preface every sentence with “I think” unless I am not sure and I wish to express that.
Love does not mean more because it is illogical. Besides which I do not believe that it is illogical in the slightest. I believe there is a reason for everything, whether we know it or not, and knowing it can only make something more meaningful, not less. Reason is the highest aspiration of mankind, it is the gift that seperates us from the world around us. By rejecting it we reject our most precious ability, and insult the universe we live in. If we take our ability to use logic, and throw it away for a randomness which we define as beauty because we do not understand it, we are fools, and we are wasting the thing that makes us human.
Beauty is defined differently by everyone. This makes it infinitely complex, and hugely subjective. And still logical, just not explicable or understandable by the human mind, except in its most obvious manifestations. If you can explain why one thing is beautiful to you, then you can explain why anything is beautiful to you. Some things might take a lifetime of thought or more, to describe accurately. But that just means that the description is not worth the effort.
I am not claiming beauty must be explained to be appreciated. I am saying that to be beautiful something must have meaning. And meaning implies a logical progression from the subconscious mind to the conscious perception.
When I make this argument, usually in response to a presumptuous statement by someone else, they frequently tell me that I am dismissing a point of view I don’t understand. I disagree. I have been a hippy, I have been a pagan, and I have been a witch. I have dismissed absolutes from my life, and tried to live without them. And I discovered during that time, that there are some things which must remain steady. There is no-one who can live without certain absolutes.
Do you really think love is an intangible force that you are not to blame for? Do you think that because you love someone who is not good for you, that this makes love illogical? Did it occur to you, that you love foolishly because of low self-esteem? That you love someone who treats you like crap because in your head, you cannot be sure that this is not how you deserve to be treated, no matter how you think about it consciously?
You shift the responsibility from your own shoulders by claiming to the world that love is a mystery, that your ability to love is out of your control. It is not. It is simply a matter of deciding what is important to you and what is not. If whats important to you is to be loved, then your priorities fall down in that they fail to dictate why you should be loved. Anyone can love you. But only someone who loves you for the right reasons will ever be what you need.
You are not caught up helplessly in a whirlwind of feelings prompted by a mysterious force. Those feelings come from you. If you are emotionally healthy, you love according to what you value, if you are not, you love according to what you imagine you are valued for by others. A myriad of variations exist in between, but essentially thats how it works. Who you love, and what you value, is up to you. If being in love is a mistake, its your mistake.
Who you are is your decision. Its not an arbitrary role you’ve been handed by the cosmos. Life is what you make it. So make it better.
April 9th, 2006 at 10:33 am
“Life is what you make it. So make it better.”
You’ve heard me talk about this before. In my opinion it’s not always possible. I’ve tried and it doesn’t always work. Myabe it’s just me but that’s just my opinion.
April 10th, 2006 at 10:18 am
Diane - you’re loosing it - this is the first time I’ve though ‘what’s she on about’ - perhaps its just cos I don’t know thos fancy words you use. Meh - I was mountain biking in the snow yesterday, and now I’m listening to Iron Maiden!
April 10th, 2006 at 11:51 am
This is one of your enteries that I won’t get to the end of - but Go You. And, btw, who’s disagreeing with you?
June 8th, 2006 at 4:20 pm
*Very large exhalation of breath* Bear with me alright…I’m commenting far back because I’ve just arrived and am a very opinionated person… How about I disagree with you.
While nothing you have said is neccessarily inaccurate…it’s still wrong. I also deal in certain absolutes and it mainly revolves around the fact that I am always most certainly right. We could war over semantics but love is illogical in the greater sense of the word….or at least it makes you do crazy, ridiculous things…and feel ecstatically happy but more commonly crap. It’s like a drug to a manic like me…so I reject it at all costs. This seems like a classic stand-off between the objective view and the subjective view. Right now, you’re objective..things are going well, you’ve got stability, and a high enough vantage point to see reason, and observe the irrationality of the raving coupling insanity mill…but if your point was subjective it would probably not be so reasonable. Love is a word used to describe a wide variant of emotions and I’ve been (dare I say it) a victim (hahaaa in your face, I’ve been tortured by love..), and a witness, to my own and your own irrational behaviour while in relationships…so…love makes you loco (I have such a cute accent when I say that…punctuation eludes the general perception of my natural face-to-face charm - the latter sentence may infer I’m crazy all the time but relationships increase it…nightmare) Therefore using my mathematical genius I can conclude..that love makes you insane, and insanity is illogical, therefore…love is illogical.
Also, you can influence the direction of your life to a point..but there’s a reason why people speak of metaphorical obstacles all the time. They’re friggin huge and I’m only a little person. Life really is that gay…
June 9th, 2006 at 3:24 pm
I hold “inaccurrate” and “wrong” to be interchangeable terms, so I don’t see how I could be one without being the other :) By all means think that I am wrong, everyone else does. And I by that same token will think you are.
I have never claimed to behave completely rationally while emotionally involved. That I have does not make feelings irrational. It makes me flawed, which I freely acknowledge. The reason metaphorical obstacles exist is because people allow them to, and no, by this sentence I do not mean that I have never succumbed to this tendency.
The common misconception that love makes you do crazy ridiculous things is born of the fact that most of the time, people don’t even know their own priorities let alone understand them. Love makes it blindingly suddenly clear to many people exactly how foolish some of their preconceptions are. If the most important thing in the world is to be with a person who lives a thousand miles away for example, then it is not crazy to move a thousand miles.
If love did not make sense, it would mean so much less. People don’t wish to make sense of it because then they would have to admit responsibility for so many “subjective” things. And yes, now I’m being objective, because subjective opinions aren’t worth shit, in my objective opinion :)
June 9th, 2006 at 3:48 pm
I was attempting a form of obtuse humour, which I’m afeared only I derive amusement from…my point was exactly what you highlighted…well at least part of my point I tend to digress(….) Everyone always believes themselves to be right. I have little respect for people who doubt themselves constantly. If you are adamant enough you can convince some people of almost anything…..
Surely a subjective opinion is important when it works in your favour…being that “beauty is subjective” and if it was more general..we might all have to go out buy a load of fake tan, invest in a wig, and buy a lot of denim.. Personally, I’d rather die a virgin. Ooops too late (pity it would emphasise my point so much more)
June 9th, 2006 at 3:51 pm
Damnit I left out the fact that it would have to be a blonde wig….that’s the most important part. Fine,…my point is destroyed so let’s just agree that love is shit, and we love being single…I’m not bitter. Really, I’m being sincere now. Couldn’t be happier…Life is great!