Never eat anything too shiny to hold onto in a high wind
Comments(7) What is wrong with the world? Why do fruit vendors feel the need to fucking well polish fruit? First off, apples are not supposed to look like that. I for one find it mildly disturbing when fruit destined for my consumption reflects the sunlight so vigorously that I feel the need to look away. Secondly, to let you in on a fascinating fact I’ve just discovered, wax doesn’t taste very nice. I have just had to eat through a layer of yeuch to enjoy an apple which I now have very little appetite for. Is this designed to discourage people from eating?
I have a list of simple rules for survival and satisfaction in life. Things like “Never eat a meat you can’t identify unless you’re happy to find out afterwards who it was”, and “Its better to regret something you’ve done than something you haven’t done”. Every once in a while a fresh one makes it into the list. The last one was courtesy of Gus, and was “only carry one working timepiece, and always set it to local time”. Wise words for anyone who frequently, or indeed infrequently, catches planes. Courtesy of London streetfruit, I now add “Never eat anything too shiny to hold onto in a high wind”
I’m not even going to talk about the shiny bananas. Some things are just very, very wrong.
Fruit is polished because the evil forces of consumerism have brainwashed the majority of the population into believing that the slightest blemish or imperfection on a piece of fruit makes it inedible. Damn those evil forces of consumerism and their tricksy ways!
And I agree, the idea of shiny bananas is really really frightening…
Maybe it’s shiny to attract the magpies of the human race, you know the ones who are attracted by any shiny object. You know who I mean!
Never, I repeat, NEVER go to America!!! EVERY fruit is shiney over there!! It is one of the most disturbing things evar! I don’t I saw one unshiney apple while over there…… *shudder*
So much for Shiney Happy People.
I like shiney apples……. Does that make me a bad person?
Yes.
I’d prefer a shiny banana to a shiny apple – at least you can peel the banana