London Calling…

Sweden kicks massive, hippopotamus-sized ass, as I must say did my sojourn there for 8 fabulous days. I’m not sure I could describe my holiday without going on for approximately 10 pages, so I will attempt to summarise with some brief accounts of what I learned, in loosely chronological order. With the additional comment that sadly, I did not see an elk, but happily, I purchased a swedish childrens book about poo. 

The following things were discovered:

• It is unwise to lose track of where a fire poi is, even if it has gone out, and even, and I stress this, if one’s trousers are on fire at the time. Even poi that are not lit are still very very hot, and forgetting about one just because you are trying to extinguish some dramatic looking trouser flames is a recipe for sustaining some relatively painful burn marks. Which, granted, you will probably not notice until much later. Also, it is not that difficult to put out aforementioned fire and still retain at least one lit poi for the continuation of spinning, as long as you do not panic.
• Balloon animals often explode without warning.
• Sometimes I forget how much I like certain people.
• White water rafting is an exceptionally fun thing to do, and it is not that hard to stay in the boat, despite the fact that you are perched on the side and held in by just a strip of rubber around your foot. It is important not to wear clothes under the wetsuit, because although they keep you very warm they do not keep you dry. It is also crucial to bear in mind that no-one around you can row properly either, but everyone has a large wooden club to hand.
• Two people cannot simultaneously drive a 1950s Chevvy pickup.
• If it does not get dark, you do not get tired properly. Umea had about 4 hours of semi-dark per night while I was there, a recipe for complete madness and continuous partying, drinking, singing, dancing etc.
• Cheesy pop music is incredibly popular in sweden
• Reindeer meat is quite tasty.
• It is a perfectly normal thing in Umea to cycle to the pub, drink, and cycle home. So normal that no-one bothered to tell me about this until we actually stepped outside and I was pointed at a bicycle. I love learning curves of 30 seconds or less.
• Swedish people are crazy.
• Because drinking is expensive, swedes often go to each others houses to drink instead of niteclubs. So it is entirely acceptable to invite complete strangers to your home for an “afterparty”, and also perfectly fine for everyone to fall asleep everywhere.
• I always manage to meet the one person in the pub who likes comic books and Marilyn Manson :)
• Swimming in lakes is much more fun than swimming in the sea, and swimming at night is much more fun than swimming during the day, even if the water is bloody freezing.
• There is a swedish word “fart”, and it roughly transates to “going from a small narrow road onto a wide, spacious one”. This amused me. As did frequent signs saying “infart” and “utfart”.
• It is fucking brilliant to be Irish, everyone loves you.
• Swedish spoken with an irish accent is (apparently) sexy. (Warning: may not be true)

In summary, with the eternal exception of interrailing for a month, this was the best holiday ever. Special thanks go out to several people: my very good friend the swedish chick here in London; the long-haired good-for-nothing hippy who remains one of the best friends I have ever had; and the swedish boy who wants to be irish and is far far too nice in general. Usually.

This entry was posted on Monday, July 24th, 2006 at 1:07 pm and is filed under London Update. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.