London Calling…

I find it amusing that because I have strong opinions, and generally believe them to be correct, that some people assume I never change my mind, that I am too stubborn to re-evaluate my decisions. This is not the case. It is because I wish to be right that I must constantly re-evaluate, check my premises, and think things through again. If they are still correct, great. But if not, obviously I need to acknowledge they are wrong, and change them. So a new category of entry appears. “Change of opinion�.

Since I left secondary school, I have always preferred male friends to female. My time there left me with the impression that women were nasty, petty and stuck-up. With a few notable exceptions whom I think a lot of, I left school despising my “friends�, for their attitude, for their snobbery, for their meanness. On the rare occasions when I felt safe really talking to someone during that time, or needed to share something that was happening with me, but didn’t want it shared with half the world, I constantly risked opening myself up to people who placed no value on trust, or friendship, or perhaps they did, but they placed no value on mine. With almost no exceptions from anyone except the notable individuals I mentioned above, this invariably resulted in me being embarrassed, upset, angry, or feeling stupid. Generally all four.

I left school determined not to be shat upon by any more nasty bitches. During my first two years of college I had maybe three female friends, only one of whom I saw with any regularity. Gradually the number grew to 5 or 6, but I have never since been in a circle whom I would consider to be “girlfriends�. I did not trust groups of women, I did not like them, and I rarely felt a need for their company. Until moving to London, because the two people I know best here are both female. I very much like both of them individually, but when all 3 of us began to hang out together I experienced some misgivings.

Last night I realised that I don’t dislike the company of women. In fact I have an astonishing amount of fun just being with female friends, we laugh more, we do more (as opposed to sitting around asking “What should we do?â€? “I dunnoâ€?… etc.) we are more enthusiastic about things… I could go on and on. This is not to say I no longer want to make male friends, but I will no longer assume that an all-male group beats an all-female one.

Women are not all nasty, petty, evil bitches. Just the ones I knew in school. Roll on Class of 2000 reunion. I wonder if they all still live in Limerick with their parents…